At Risk Behavior for Internet Dependents, Insomniacs and Those with Sore Scrolling Thumbs

(With Modifications)

If you feel the Internet is taking over your life, can’t put the smart phone down or you are projecting all over your Touch Screen you might be wise to check yourself for the following at behaviors:

Not owning an alarm clock. Therefore your cell phone must live close to your head while you sleep. Don’t you know about EMF’s? Note I am not referring to EDM which stands for Electronic Dance Music.

Checking your email in the middle of the night. What is so god damn important?

Having a secret Tumblr. Come on we all know what Tumblr is for (doing my best wink wink face, right now). Not so terrible but if it’s a secret from your partner then you might want to check yourself. You could also invest in some really good Ethical/Feminist Porn or make your own. Then you can control your own content instead of being stuck in the dominant paradigm of what is sexy.

How many emails addresses do you own? If your family isn’t sure which email to use then that might be a clue.

Tweeting at companies that will not do anything or too much bitching. Post content that creates the culture you want to see in the world. (false Gandhi quote updated)

Not Deleting Ex’s. You’ve cut ties with the ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram but not on LinkedIn. What even happens on LinkedIn anyways? Why can’t we just go back to 1995 where once you broke up and unless you ran into them on the street you would never know what they were up to. Moving across the country worked out so so well.

You can look at their Twitter but you don’t know if you should have a conversation in person. It sucks to have a falling out with someone. Next time I will count to 10 before I delete a friend.

Your angry: go for a walk, write about in your journal, tell a friend. Social media might not be the best place to air it—but if you make it into art or poetry and post it on Instagram then that’s okay. Then let it go like a dandelion in the wind.

Music in your life is dependent on iTunes, your smart phone or even YouTube. What if you go camping or the power goes out or…. hey there is even live music.

Read. You started a book in August and it is now December. Put down the computer and go finish it. Come on I dare ya.

In doing research for this piece, I searched on Facebook for someone but the WRONG PERSON came up and I burnt a whole pot of beans. Really, Facebook are you trying to kill me? I guess the moral of the story is: Don’t cook and Facebook at the same time.

B: Go off the Grid.

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